My day had suddenly gone from dim to bright,
My heart was happy, my step was light.
What had changed the day for me
And brought me out of my misery?
My life was orderly and neat, just last summer,
With no harder decision than "What's for supper?"
I had a husband I loved, that treated me well
We had a beautiful home in which to dwell.
Our little family was perfect and seemed quite complete,
With our son and our daughter, life was mellow and sweet.
We lived on a farm--raised horses and cows,
No chickens to tend, but a garden to plow.
Timmy, the youngest, an inquisitive boy,
Liked to take walks, something I thoroughly enjoy.
Together we would trek thru the pastures and fields,
Gleaning the treasures each day would yield.
Near the edge of the woods, wild violets grew.
As he picked them he turned to say, "I love you!"
He loved the violets and picked them each day,
We made a blanket of violets on which he could lay.
Later we spoke, (he had just turned five),
He asked me, "Mama, what does it mean--to die?"
(We had buried a cat in a box in the yard,
The kids loved that old cat and took his death hard.)
I told him that God would someday call out our names
And the angels would come to show us the way...
To a place where we'd live and never die.
In Heaven, we would never tell anyone good-bye.
The days of summer grew into long sweltering weeks,
And I wished for rain to give us relief.
There were weeds in the garden that I needed to hoe
So, with Timmy asleep on the porch, I worked in the rows.
I had forgotten our talk about death and dying,
But in the back of my mind, uneasiness was rising.
Needing a rest, I stopped for a while,
But, had sleep overcome me somehow?
I had been sitting alone under the old willow tree...
Suddenly Timmy was standing at my feet.
"Mama, remember when you said the angels would come
And show us the way to our home above?"
I smiled as I looked in his sweet cherubic face,
However, the fear I had felt still would not fade.
I looked once again--were his eyes always that clear?
And his voice was so soft, like music to my ears.
"Mama, the angel came to see me today,
He told me that Heavens' not far away."
Now, my alarms were all sounding deep down inside...
I reached out to pull him close to my side.
"I'm going away--but I had to come here...
To tell you I love you, Mama, I'll always be near!"
He laid a fistful of violets in my open hand,
"I'll be waiting for you in that heavenly land!"
My heart was aching, I loved him so much,
I reached for him, but I could not touch.
I had wanted to hold him, to give him a kiss...
But, he vanished away--like into a mist!
Had I been dreaming? Was I awake?
I was feeling as though my heart would break!
Timmy's sister came screaming that he was on the ground.
Covered with bee stings, there were bees all around!
The next days passed by in a blur and a haze...
How could I go on and live another day?
We buried him close, in the nearby town.
Our lives were in shambles, completely brought down.
Still, I prayed to the Lord, my heart to console,
For I still firmly believe God is in control.
Today I went to visit the place where his body lay,
(I had forgotten--April showers bring flowers in May.)
There were little flowers growing all around...
A blanket of purple violets was covering the ground!
Susan Elaine Collins 2001 ©